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You Were Never My Lover (Stutter)

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"You Were Never My Lover (Stutter)"
Stutter
Vital statistics
Written by Darren Criss
Appearances A Very Potter Sequel, Act 2, Part 9
Participants Dolores Umbridge

Dolores Umbridge rejects Albus Dumbledore after he agrees to be her boyfriend. This song was originally written by Darren Criss, titled "Stutter." Many of the original lyrics were changed for the musical.

Lyrics

UMBRIDGE:

Remember that time? When you wouldn't talk to me? No you wouldn't talk to me yesterday.

We were gettin' along! We had that little dance-y thing! Well here's a song I sing my way,

It was gonna be fine. But you didn't wanna be, be the man who'd be with me-- no way.

But now you sayin' it's time-- Why you gotta be like that? I don't like the way you act round me.

So baby come on, come on...

Oh don't you tell me to go, and say "I'm the one," d-d-do you think I'm dumb? Sorry- did I just stutter?

Won't tell you what you know, but this is the end... You were never my friend, you were never my-- you were never my lover!

Remember that night? When I saw you tremblin' there? I remembered, "I don't care," 'bout you.

I'm rememberin' how you thought you were at the top, well I think we're better off without you!

And I got your number-- and I don't mean in my phone; would've already just thrown it out, if I'd known about the way you'd bitch and moan,

remember that way-- how you were way outta line? Well now you're way outta time! So tell me what you want on your tombstone!

Come on, come on...

Oh don't you tell me to go, and say "I'm the one," d-d-do you think I'm dumb? Sorry- did I just stutter?

Won't tell you what you know, but this is the end... You were never my friend, you were never my-- you were never my lover!

It's too bad you a loser. Too bad you waste my time. Good thing that I'm around to keep your ass in line!

... You were never my-- you were never my lover!

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