|"Harry Freakin' Potter"|
|Written by||Darren Criss|
|Appearances||A Very Potter Sequel, Act 1, Part 2|
|Participants||Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Rita Skeeter, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Cho Chang, Molly Weasley, Percy Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley|
You're Harry Freakin' Potter! You don't understand you're a legend, man, to us all!
Every son and daughter--
RON & THE KIDS: [spoken] "SAFE!"
... From You-Know-Who, all because of you! You were small, but I wonder if you can recall...
Long story short, this guy, [whispered] "Voldemort" was super cruel...
RON: ... Tried to kill you & your parents, and this is where it gets intensely cool...
Even though you were a tiny little boy, you shoulda died but you survived and then destroyed this evil guy and it's story we enjoy to tell....
RON & THE KIDS:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter! We don't prefer Gandalf, Merlin, or Oz, You're a whole lot hotter! With that lighting scar, you're a superstar to us all! If we're in trouble we know who to call!
You're Harry Freakin' Potter! I wouldn't wince at all, you're invincible to all harm!
Like betty crocker--
RITA SKEETER & THE KIDS:
... I wanna eat you up! No one'll beat you up with that charm! Remember, Harry, kid, you're the Boss, you're the King, you're the Bomb!
But this is all so sad, I mean, my Mom and Dad were killed, long ago...
[Long ago they died!]
... I wanna be psyched, but being unliked is all I know...
[... All he knows, that's why--]
I never thought I'd be a part of such a fate, an opportunity eleven years late... I guess it's time for me step up to the plate and show 'em that I'm something great!
I'm Harry Freakin' Potter! I'll do what I can if what you say I am is true!
I can't be bothered by my awful past, I've found at last something I can do, so it's time I knew exactly who I am...
I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
HARRY & THE KIDS
I'm/You're Harry Freakin' Potter--
... And I'm the Man!
HARRY & THE KIDS:
[spoken] "HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!"