"Guys Like Potter"
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Written by Darren Criss
Appearances A Very Potter Sequel, Act 2, Part 4
Participants Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape

Lucius Malfoy wins Severus Snape over to his side by reminding him what a douchebag James Potter was to him during their school days.



There are so many douchebags in the world. Yes, so many douchebags get the girls who deserve more than absolutely anything that any charm or potion could ever bring. But men like that, they have her on a string, and they don't care,

For there will always be guys like Potter. To realize tears in your eyes because he got her. She'll never ever know how much you'd have brought her...

If you'd only done something more for the one, back when you were young...



So many assholes in this place. So many assholes in my face! Why can't they leave me alone-- To love princesses, maids, and queens? They wouldn't ever be in between...


We'd treat them nice and never be mean. And we would care...

But there will always be guys like Potter. Who'll quench the flame like it's a game with drops of water He'll never think her perfect as you/I thought her...


... But now you're alone, left to pout and moan, 'cause you were totally pwnd.