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Dolores Umbridge

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Dolores Umbridge
Umbridge
Vital statistics
Portrayed by Joe Walker
Appearances A Very Potter Sequel
Songs participated in "Gettin' Along", "You Were Never My Lover (Stutter)", "Days of Summer"
Canon counterpart Dolores Umbridge

Dolores Jane Umbridge is played by Joe Walker. She was a security officer appointed by the Ministry of Magic to protect the students of Hogwarts from Sirius Black. She later became headmistress of the school and conspired with the from-the-future Lucius Malfoy to have Harry Potter killed. She obviously had a traumatic childhood (her mother, Mama Umbridge, made that clear) and is obsessed with her masculine side. She falls in love with Dumbledore and vows to destroy him when the feelings are not mutual (due to the fact that she is a woman). She calls all the kids at Hogwarts her children (or 'chillins') and she believes that she is their "Mama". She also show an apparent dislike for Harry Potter and the gang.

  • Spoilers!* In the end of AVPS, Umbridge is carried away by Firenze so that the centaurs may perform 'coitus' with her and save the centaur race, since she is evidently the only female human who is strong enough to bear...er...centaur sex.
  • She has a board with spikes in it that she uses to beat the children. She has affectionately named it "Mama's Little Love Hand"
  • She does not like Hermione, because she thinks that Hermione is too much of a 'frumpy little turd' like her- NO. Like you.
  • Is believed to currently run a twitter account which is dearly loved by Darren Criss.

She thinks she's a "chubby little f*cker" despite the fact she's clearly in good shape. This is due to her traumatic childhood.

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