"Different As Can Be"
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Written by AJ Holmes
Appearances A Very Potter Musical, Act 1, Part 5

A Very Potter Musical, Act 1, Part 8 (reprise)

Participants Lord Voldemort, Professor Quirrell

Realizing they will have to learn to work together to achieve their goals, Professor Quirrell and Lord Voldemort sing about their odd couple relationship.


QUIRRELL: You won't sleep on your tummy

VOLDEMORT: You only sleep on your back

VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree

QUIRRELL: We share some hands and fingers

VOLDEMORT: And yet the feeling lingers

VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: We're just about as different as anyone could be

VOLDEMORT: You like plotting a garden and I like plotting to kill

QUIRRELL: You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill! Sipping tea by the fire's swell

VOLDEMORT: Pushing people in is fun as well I like folding all my ties

QUIRRELL: And you have no friends, hey that's a surprise

VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: I guess its plain to see when you look at you and me we're different different as can be

VOLDEMORT: You're a sissy, a twat a girl! I'm the darkest of lords!

QUIRRELL: I'm the brightest professor here, I've won several awards

VOLDEMORT: My new world is about to unfold

QUIRRELL: You got beat by a two-year-old

VOLDEMORT: I'll kill him this time through and through

QUIRRELL: Or you might just give him another tattoo

VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: You really must agree when you look at you and me we're different different as can-

VOLDEMORT: I'll rise again and I'll rule the world But you must help me renew For when our plan succeeds

QUIRRELL: Prevails!

VOLDEMORT: Part of that world goes to you

QUIRRELL: When I rule the world I'll plant flowers

VOLDEMORT: When I rule the world I'll have snakes And goblins, and werewolves, fleet of dementors and giants, and thestrals, and all my Death Eaters!

(QUIRRELL: And Jane Austin novels)

VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: When I rule the world!! Hahahaha!!!!

Lyrics (reprise)

QUIRRELL: I guess it's plain to see When you look at you and me we're different different as can be

VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: We simply gaurentee When youre looking at you and me we're different different as can be

QUIRRELL: It's a comedy of sorts when you're bound to Voldemort

VOLDEMORT: And I'm happy as a squirrell Long as I'm with Mr. Quirrell

VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: We'll lead em to the slaughter and we'll murder Harry Potter

We're different Different Different, different As can be!

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